The Official 2026 Slapxis

Player mentions

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Hello folks, It’s officially time for the 2nd annual Slapxis — my least serious or actionable post of the year. If you didn’t catch it last year, the Slapxis is the Fantasy Football Political Axis — a chart which does not aim to predict which players will perform well or poorly, but rather sorts every player by the inherent political vibes you feel as you draft them. Does this running back support a moratorium on data centers? Or does this wide receiver wish to overturn Griswold v. Connecticut? Thinking About Thinking: Mostly Fantasy Football Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Understanding the Slapxis To truly wrap your head around the Slapxis it’s integral to understand its component parts. The Slapxis is a four quadrant axis that measures the degree to which each player is Slappy or Boomer as well as left wing or right wing. It’s important not to conflate these two distinctions as synonyms for one another because they are measuring different and equally important qualities in a fantasy football asset. Allow me to explain: What does “Slappy” Mean? The definitive definition of Slappy came last year on an episode of ADP Chasing: … But if you were hoping for something with more social science rigour, I propose that “slappy” players contain some or all of the following key elements: The player is polarizing and the subject of frequent debate and discussion in the fantasy community The player is not yet a proven star, or there is significant debate as to whether he will remain a star There is a strong “narrative” for or against this player that may or may not be supported by his past performance What is a Left Wing or Right Wing Player? There are a number of features that make a player spiritually aligned with various political causes you (or they) may or may not support. I suspect you largely “know it when you see it”… but in case it’s not clear here are a few general rules that should assist you. A left wing player will have some or all of the following traits: They make sense in a Zero-RB build (early or mid-round WR, mid-late round RB) They had a stronger analytical / data-based prospect profile than a film-based prospect profile Their per-carry, per-route, or “advanced” efficiency metrics are stronger than their box score statistics They are small and/or fast They are young, or have not yet fully broken out The case for this player is more based on “talent” rather than situation or projected role They are challenging an incumbent for snaps/routes/targets On the other hand, a right wing player will have some or all of the following opposite traits: They make sense in a RB-Heavy build (early or mid-round RB, mid-late round WR) Their prospect profile is based more on draft capital or film evaluation than data Their past performance in the box score or in total fantasy points is stronger than their “advanced” efficiency metrics They are big and/or slow They are older, or have at least already ascended to a full-time role The case for this player is based more on situation or projected role than “talent” They are competing with a younger player for snaps/routes/targets Note: Last year I wrote that the player’s actual political views are not relevant. All rules have exceptions and well… Jaxson Dart is an exception. It’s important to note that players can move across the Slapxis over time. For instance, Javonte Williams began his career as a 21…